Heaven only knows.
Heaven only knows. After college I was under the impression that I was going to find that perfect job that pays that perfect amount, so that my life could some how end up “perfect”. Especially right after all the changes that I endured; although right after college it didn’t end up like that. Instead something else happened, “reality” and as of now I realize that “reality” is way better than “perfect”. Because perfect is boring, perfect is already there, perfect means that its DONE.
and..
Im not done, Im not done with my life. There is so much more that god wants me to accomplish and so much hidden talent that could take me far if I allowed it. Im not perfect, I don’t have the perfect personality, the perfect body, or the perfect background. I’ve been broken hearted, I’ve felt inadequate, I’ve felt defeated. BUT no matter what, Im still here and able to smile. I am still able to get up every morning and hope for the better and have faith that gods plan for me is perfect. So I am not sad about not having the perfect things happen to me after college because if it did I would be “done” and I ain’t done yet. God still needs me to serve him… and that is what I will do all day EVERY day.
late night blogging.
Today at work, I started to wonder where and what my life will be like in the next 5 years. So I turned to my co worker and asked him, “what where you doing 5 years ago?”. He said something really funny that I wont repeat (hahah) then I said I was just starting college and had just met my first boyfriend. We both looked at each other and laughed! because it seemed so long ago.
As I walked away, I started thinking about the next 5 years. I don’t know what I will be doing! For all I know I could be in school, have a new job, work in a different country, get married, or even have kids. Five years seems so long from now, but yet goes so fast.
Which brings me to my conclusion. I learned this from the great Dalai Lama at his lecture at SDSU. “The future is never guaranteed”, “it is open, so lead your life with confidence and a calm mind”. For the longest time, I always thought I knew what was going to happen in the future. I always have some sort of plan, but now in this time in my life. I really do want my future to be open. After everything I have gone through so far, I have realized that the things you say or do always change. Every day, we feel different, we act different, we meet different people, we go through different situations.
I tend to forget this concept, so I decided to do a little late night blogging to get some thoughts out. Hope it inspires someone :) anyways good night!
Love.
Thats all I have to do. Love my family, friends, dance, work, myself, and etc! I need to open my mind and simply Love. Through all that I have experienced, the only thing that keeps coming up in my life is the reminder to Love. To never doubt that feeling of love and to never question it. Love is what keeps people together but at times can tear people a part. The questioning of Love will leave you confused and empty. If you haven’t experienced Love then you haven’t lived. So Love more so you can Live more. <3 thass my moto!
